Nowadays, introversion seems to be a shameful feature to many. How it is to sit at home and not talk to anyone in a society where activity and sociability are valued? In fact, introverts can show their power to the world.
I am not proud that I am an introvert – but I am not ashamed of this. This in itself is not good and not bad. This is just a given. To be honest, I’m a little tired of excitement on the topic of pride in my introversion. Everyone I know send me memes on the topic of steep introverts and boring extroverts that they say too much.
Enough. It’s great that we accepted our peculiarity and told the world about our love of loneliness. But is it time to move on? Whether we protest too much? If you really feel good, whether you need to continue to scream about it? Isn’t it time to just go about your business?
In addition, many activists of the movement “proud of their introversion” strongly ask to leave them alone
Of course, the need for solitude is part of the nature of the introvert, but only part. This is necessary for us to restore, but, in my opinion, it is time to figure out how to make the world happy the advantages of your introversion.
If you use it only as an excuse to deviate invitations, then you simply confirm the opinion of the majority that the introverts are asocial. And this is one of the signs that you are incorrectly using your introversion. Let’s start with him, and then we will talk about some others.
1. You spend too much time at home
You don’t like parties. This is normal, but did you know that you can learn to love them if you participate in them … in your own way? For example, going to a party, to give yourself permission to leave it at any time – even if there is still “too early”. Or sit in the corner and observe the rest. Well, yes, someone will pester with questions about why you are not communicating. So what? After all, you don’t care, you feel good with yourself.
But, let’s say, you still hate parties. So don’t go to them! But if you just refuse invitations and do not invite the people themselves who are really pretty to do what you really like, then you are not an introvert, but just a recluse.
But then you need to socialize in your own way. You can be an introvert that invites interesting people to make him a company for campaigns on events – for example, at a lecture, exhibitions, author’s readings.
You arrange joint dinners to enjoy a beautiful conversation in a narrow circle? Go on campaigns with a friend with whom to communicate equally well and be silent? You have lunch with those few friends who are close to your heart? If not, then you are using your introversion incorrectly. Show a few lucky ones what cool introverts can be.
2. You just do a job
The ability of introverts to perform routine work is one of our strong features. Be proud of this. But if you do not express your considerations to colleagues and the authorities, whether you really demonstrate the whole greatness of your introversion to the world?
I understand that sometimes meetings are held too quickly for our pace of thinking. It is difficult for us to formulate thoughts and find a moment to be heard. And yet this is our task – to learn how to share ideas with others.
In this, meetings with the head of the eye on the face or unification in a team with someone who can help to voice the ideas can help in this
The leaders not so long ago began to learn about introversion and extraversion as another aspect of the variety that should be present in an effective team. Make sure you demonstrate the advantages of introversion, and not just work work, merging with the situation.
3. You avoid chatter
I know, I know, an empty chatter – a stumbling block for introverts. I myself try to avoid her. And yet … some studies confirm that the conversations are “about nothing and about everything” well affect our psychological state.
So, in a number of experiments conducted by psychologists from Chicago, the group of subjects was proposed to talk with fellow travelers on the train – that is, to do what they usually avoided. According to the reports, those who chatted with fellow travelers have more pleasantly pleasantly than those who “enjoyed loneliness”.
But let’s smoke even deeper. Although talking about trifles most often end on their own, sometimes they grow into something more. Relations do not begin with proximity. Immediate immersion to the depths in a conversation with a new acquaintance can confuse. Surely you came across this: excellent skills of listening to introverts lead to the fact that we open more than we would like.
The exchange of common phrases helps to establish contact, gives time to try on each other, read non -verbal signals, find contact points. If everything develops, a slight conversation can lead to a more substantial conversation. So, if you avoid chatter, you miss the opportunity to meet important and close people in spirit.
4. You pretend that any loneliness is good loneliness
I talk about this much about this, because this mistake has interfered with my happiness for a long time. We are introverts, but all people need people, and we are no exception. Staying at home alone is the easiest way of inaction, but too much concentration of loneliness is harmful and can lead to the spleen and bad mood.
Unfortunately, the easiest way to cope with loneliness is to be one. Loneliness is so all -consuming and difficult that it is easier to experience it in solitude than to experience in the crowd.
In addition, the distortion
of our thinking makes us continue to do something that we do not like, simply because we have already spent for some time and strength. We tell ourselves that loneliness is good that we are superfly, because we are comfortable in one, even if this is far from the case.
Experts note that single people are more hostile. I always considered them to be misanthropes, but now I suspect that they were deeply stuck in this vicious circle of rejection.
5. You believe in your “social clumsiness”
Isn’t that what you say when you come to a party and do not feel comfortable from the first minutes? Or when you shy slightly in front of a stranger? You reassure yourself with stories that you have an innate inability to impress others? Do not hope to be a brilliant interlocutor? Remember your weak social skills that make each event a minefield?
Forget about it. Stop convincing yourself that you are different from the rest. Yes, it is easier for some people to communicate, some cover the room with their presence. Honestly, these are not the people to whom I am pulling, I even find them a little repulsive. I better talk to a person who sits quietly in the corner. Or with someone I already know. I do not go to parties to get acquainted with new people – I go there to see my friends.
